Two years ago, my brother and I attended the Phoenix Comicon and we played in the Kids Need to Read Poker Tournament. I just wanted to stay in long enough to meet Nathan Fillion. I thought he would show up at some point since it was his charity. Unfortunately, he did not. But I did win the tournament. I have the token to prove it.
The experience became the basis for an idea that we wrote up for a Con-Man writing contest a few months back. It was fun to write, and although we only came in second place, Alan Tudyk did read it. So here’s to a first place tournament chip and a second place short script. I hope you enjoy it!
FADE IN:
INT. PHOENIX COMICON – CONVENTION CENTER
WRAY rushes off of a makeshift stage. He is physically drained from a rousing Q & A session with Spectrum fans.
BOBBY is waiting in the wing holding Wray’s cell phone.
WRAY
Hey, that’s my phone. How did you get that?
He checks his pants pockets.
BOBBY
You know they don’t want you to have it during the Spectrum Q & A.
WRAY
That’s a suggestion. Now I’m feeling a bit violated.
He snatches the phone from her.
They walk.
BOBBY
Jack Moore is on the line.
WRAY
You called Jack?
BOBBY
I knew he was going to be here this weekend.
WRAY
Why did you? How? (Putting the phone up to his ear.) Hello, Jack?
JACK (O.S.)
Hey, Buddy!
WRAY
Uh, oh. What do you want me to do?
JACK (O.S.)
What do you mean?
WRAY
You’re using your “I need you to do something for me” voice.
JACK (O.S.)
I am not. This is my normal voice.
WRAY
So you don’t need anything from me?
JACK (O.S.)
It’s for the children.
WRAY
I don’t like kids.
He says this overly loud and comicon patrons stare at him disapprovingly.
WRAY
I mean, of course I like kids, I just don’t have any kids, to like.
(Exasperated and back to the phone.) What do you need?
JACK (O.S.)
I need you to sit in for me at the Kids Need to Read Charity Poker Tournament. I’m on my way, but I’m going to be late. And coincidentally, it’s in the room right next to the Q & A you just hosted.
WRAY
Convenient. This sounds somewhat planned.
Wray looks at Bobby who looks away nonchalantly.
JACK (O.S.)
Thanks buddy. It’s for the children.
WRAY
You keep saying that. I don’t even know how to play poker.
JACK (O.S.)
It’s okay. Take my seat. Lose your chips quickly and then duck out. I do it all the time. Smile, wave, leave.
WRAY
(Heavy sigh.) Okay fine.
JACK (O.S.)
I knew I could count on you. See you soon!
Wray hangs up and puts his phone in his pants pocket. He turns to Bobby.
WRAY
I’m just a big sap.
Bobby doesn’t say anything. She just turns Wray around and pushes him through another doorway.
INT. KIDS NEED TO READ CHARITY POKER TOURNAMENT
Wray steps into the room. There is a partition next to another make shift stage at the end of a long conference room. The HOST is waiting there.
Wray peeks through the partition. The room is full of comicon attendees sitting at many round poker tables scattered though out the large room.
No children can be seen.
HOST
Welcome Mr. Nerely. It’s generous of you to join us this evening.
WRAY
Evening?
HOST
Is Jack with you?
WRAY
He’s running late. He asked me to take his seat.
HOST
Oh, that’s too bad.
WRAY
Don’t sound so disappointed. He’ll be here later on.
HOST
(More upbeat now.) Oh, great news.
WRAY
Where are all the children?
The Host laughs. Bobby joins in. Wray follows suit confused.
HOST
It’s a charity poker tournament for the children, not a poker tournament with the children.
WRAY
(Laughing louder.) Of course.
The Host hands Wray a paper.
HOST
Here are some instructions and your seat assignments.
Bobby leans in to see the paper. He keeps it away from her and tries to stare her down. When he turns back to his paper, it’s gone. He’s no longer holding it. He turns back to find Bobby reading it.
WRAY
How did?
BOBBY
Oh good. You may have your phone at the table with you.
She hands him his phone.
WRAY
What? Again? How do you keep doing that?
He checks all of his pants pockets again.
He snatches the phone and puts it into his shirt pocket this time.
HOST
I’ll introduce you and then you can take your seat.
WRAY
Is it possible for me to just say a few words and then duck out?
HOST
Jack would never “duck out”. He committed to playing in the tournament.
WRAY
But he’s not here.
HOST
But you’re taking his place.
WRAY
I don’t even know how to play poker.
HOST
Please do the best that you can. And remember, it’s for the children.
WRAY
As I’ve been told.
The Host goes to the mic and the crowd goes quiet.
HOST
Ladies and gentlemen, zombies and superheroes, welcome to the Phoenix Comicon’s 10th Annual Kids Need to Read Charity Poker Tournament.
The crowd claps enthusiastically.
HOST
I’d like to introduce our special guest tonight from Spectrum… The audience hoops and hollars.
HOST
Wray Nerely.
Wray steps out from behind the partition and waves. The crowd goes flat.
HOST
Wray will be sitting in for Jack, but I’ve been assured that Jack will be here later on.
The crowd responds enthusiastically.
Wray checks his paper and heads to his seat. Bobby follows.
WRAY
What am I doing? They don’t even really want me here.
BOBBY
Of course they want you here. They just prefer Jack. Who wouldn’t?
WRAY
Thank you for that.
BOBBY
Just lose quickly.
WRAY
And how do I do that?
BOBBY
Push all your chips in and say, all in.
WRAY
All in what?
BOBBY
No, just all in.
Bobby leaves him.
WRAY
What?
Wray finds his seat between two large WOMEN. There is very little room left for him. He tries to squeeze in.
Both women are more masculine than Wray.
FAT PAT
I don’t think so muchacho.
LARGE MARGE
This seat is reserved for Jack Moore.
WRAY
I’m Wray Nerely.
FAT PAT
We know who you are. Love your work, but this seat’s for Jack.
LARGE MARGE
You’re awesome. Now move on.
WRAY
Wow, I’ve never experienced such hostile adoration. I’m sitting in for Jack.
FAT PAT
What?
LARGE MARGE
You’re kidding?
WRAY
He asked for me to sit in for him.
FAT PAT
We paid good money for these seats.
LARGE MARGE
We donated $500.00
WRAY
It’s for the children!?!
FAT PAT
I’m tempted to ask for half my money back.
Wray squeezes in.
WRAY
At least sitting by me is worth something.
LARGE MARGE
We’ll see.
Wray pushes his chips forward.
WRAY
I’m all in.
DEALER
We haven’t started yet.
WRAY
Just kidding.
He pulls the stacks back in front of him. Pat and Marge are not laughing.
Wray looks around the table. There is a ZOMBIE, a KLINGON, a SUPERHERO, and an ANIME CHARACTER with a huge cardboard sword.
Directly across the table sits a COWBOY.
WRAY
What are you dressed as? Space Cowboy?
COWBOY
Are you makin’ fun of how I dress?
WRAY
No?
COWBOY
I’m not here for your little Comicon! And I don’t care about your children’s charity. I’m here for one thing and one thing only. The poker. And to win, of course.
WRAY
That’s two things.
COWBOY
So don’t get to attached to your chips, sunshine. They’re mine!
WRAY
You can have them.
COWBOY
That’s right! I will own them. And yours, and yours, and yours…
Cowboy points around the table.
FAT PAT
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get it. They’re all yours. We’re all very intimidated.
COWBOY
I’m just saying.
LARGE MARGE
Don’t let him get in your head. He’s all bravado.
COWBOY
Oh, yeah? Cowboy pulls out a little chip and holds it up for all to see.
COWBOY
Does this look like bravado?
WRAY
What is it?
FAT PAT
Last years champion token.
COWBOY
I won last years poker tournament.
WRAY
Congratulations.
COWBOY
So, now you know that I mean it when I say that I’m going to be taking all of your chips.
WRAY
You can have them.
COWBOY
I mean it.
WRAY
So do I.
COWBOY
Do you smell that?
WRAY
Comicon B.O.?
COWBOY
Repeat victory!
The table moans.
A bell suddenly sounds.
HOST
The tournament begins now. Good luck. We have a very special gift for tonight’s champion.
The DEALER deals out two cards per person at the table.
COWBOY
Did you hear that? I’ll get a special gift.
WRAY
Thank you, we heard.
COWBOY
I just don’t want you to forget… I’m taking your chips, and yours, and yours…
FAT PAT
This is going to be a long night!
DEALER
Bet to you Mr. Nerely.
WRAY
Me? Can I go all in now?
DEALER
Do you want to look at your cards first?
WRAY
Not particularly.
DEALER
Okay, then you can place your bet.
Wray pushes all of his chips forward.
WRAY
All chips in.
COWBOY
What?
LARGE MARGE
That shut up Cowboy!
Everyone folds to Cowboy.
COWBOY
What’s your deal actor man?
WRAY
What? Me? I’m giving you my chips.
COWBOY
You’re going in blind?
WRAY
I have no idea what you just said.
FAT PAT
I think he’s scared.
COWBOY
I ain’t scared. Okay, I’ll be your Huckleberry!
WRAY
My what?
LARGE MARGE
Don’t worry, that’s good.
Cowboy pushes all in.
COWBOY
All in.
Everyone else at the table folds.
DEALER
Do you want to go face up? It’s just the two of you now.
COWBOY
Just show us the board.
The Dealer motions to Wray who shrugs. The Dealer flips three cards, an ace, three, and seven.
He burns a card and then flips another card, a three. Then he burns another card and flips the final card, an ace.
DEALER
Two aces showing.
The Cowboy fidgets nervously.
Wray just sits there looking around. He has no idea what’s going on.
DEALER
Gentlemen, please flip your cards.
They both flip their cards at the same time. Cowboy has a three and a king.
Wray has two aces.
The Cowboy freezes in total shock.
WRAY
(Acting upset) Oh man, I just lost didn’t I? Oh well, good game.
He begins to stand.
FAT PAT
Pocket rockets to four of a kind. Unbelievable.
LARGE MARGE
I’ve never seen anything like it.
The cowboy bursts out crying. Gasping sobs. He runs off.
Wray is mortified.
The Dealer pushes the pot to Wray.
WRAY
What just happened?
FAT PAT
That was awesome! You made that man cry!
LARGE MARGE
I take it back. That was worth every penny I paid for this seat.
Pat and Marge are totally impressed now. They make room for Wray to sit back down more comfortably.
Wray realizes that he’s still in the game and miserably starts stacking his chips.
The girls smile and he weakly smiles back.
INT. MONTAGUE – SAME
The evening progresses. Wray’s chip stacks continue to grow.
He gets more miserable as the night goes on.
INT. KIDS NEED TO READ CHARITY POKER TOURNAMENT – LATER
Jack enters a near empty hall. Wray and the Host sit alone at the final table.
JACK
I’m here. Where is everyone?
They stand to greet him.
HOST
The tournament is over.
JACK
Where’s the champion?
HOST
The winner of the Phoenix Comicon’s 10th Annual Kids Need to Read Charity Poker Tournament is… Wray Nerely.
Wray waves unenthusiastically.
JACK
What? I told you to lose.
WRAY
I tried.
HOST
Nice of you to bring in a ringer. Early on he became the chip leader and preceded to bully the other participants.
WRAY
I did not.
JACK
I thought you didn’t know how to play?
WRAY
I didn’t. I don’t.
JACK
Then how did you…
WRAY
I’m tired and just want to go home. (To Host) You mentioned a special gift?
HOST
Ah yes, you get this special first place chip and a photo with Jack Moore himself.
WRAY
A photo with Jack?
Jack smiles. The Host gets his camera ready.
HOST
Plus a free seat in next years tournament.
WRAY
No thank you.
JACK
As this years winner, you’re expected to return to defend your title. It’s kind of an obligation.
WRAY
Just keeps getting better.
HOST
Just remember…
WRAY & JACK
It’s for the children!
The flash goes off, as the photo is taken.
END
